PA School Humor

Warning: this might not be funny to you....

So a couple friends and I were studying over some pad thai in a pho restaurant close to my school, vigorously preparing for one of the hardest tests ever....cardiology. We ended up drawing some pictures on our styrofoam to-go boxes to better help our discussions make sense. Well, my one friend started drawing a liver......after which she said something to the effect that she could not believe she just drew a round liver. The 3 of us just thought that was the funniest thing ever. Then my other friend stopped and said, "Wait a minute guys. Do you realize what just happened? Reality check. We just busted up at the fact that she drew a round liver." Yeah, life has definitely changed since starting school. Nerd alert!

Then, the other day I ended up leaving school the same time as one of my professors. So we had a nice chat out to our cars, in the course of which we discovered we took the same back country farm road to get to school everyday. Now, you have to understand this guy is a character. He's Canadian, always has something funny to say, and is well loved by the class (reminds me a lot of my Uncle David). So he said, "Great! Now I can flip you the bird!" I could not stop laughing. That road gets frustrating as people drive pretty slow OR take it fast around some pretty sharp corners. Apparently he had seen a car flip a 360 just that morning on one of the curves. He told me he'd keep his eye out for me :)

So the next morning, I was one of the last ones to walk into class and this professor was standing in the front of the room and in front of everyone said, "I didn't see you this morning! I couldn't flip you the bird!" Then explained the whole thing to the class about being a crazy Canadian driving down the road. Everyone got a pretty good laugh out of it, followed by "Poor Kristina." I love that guy - hilarious!

My New Study Strategy.......

.......DOWN the wasabi (green stuff served with sushi) covered dried peas by the HANDFUL. Every time I feel myself drifting off or my mind wondering, I just throw a bunch of those suckers in. Wow! They're bound to keep you awake. Burning in the sinuses and watery eyes are enough to get me back on track. A MUCH better alternative than loading up on peanut M&M's and Dr. Pepper.

Warning: do NOT try this at home, eating MOUTHFULS of wasabi peas anyway. You will definitely regret it. Study strategy only......

Post time: 2:02 am

Status: WIDE AWAKE

Portland Day 23 - Rainy

My roommates appeared to be very social at first, but they don't really like going to FHE, Institute, or firesides. Well, I'm going without them then! Went to a great fireside tonight by the Portland mission president and his wife, heard some fantastic advice, and met some awesome peeps.

Oh and funny story..... I was recruited today to give the opening prayer in Sacrament meeting and my roommate, Katie, gave me some words of advice: You have to clear your throat once you get up there. Well, I was thinking: Why the heck? She then proceeded to explain that people would look up at me. And that's when I would smile. Haha, ok that last part is stretching it, but she said more people might notice me that way. Hmmm..... I didn't do it, but all she had to say was "I dare you." Too bad she hasn't found that out yet about me. But can anyone verify this? Is this really a secret trick that works....??

Portland Day 1 - 13 hr. drive turned 16 hr. drive

Granola or bust!! My sister, Elise, and I left early Saturday drive for the long drive to Portland. Yes, road trip! Except we didn't know how long it would really be....

I had rotated the tires on my car 2 days previous and thought everything was fine and dandy. Until the car started shaking uncontrollably. So much so that we stopped in Boise to get it looked at. Turns out my back tires (that were now on the front) had a huge groove in them. The rest of the tire had perfect treads except for that one spot. New tires here we come! I decided to wait where I can buy them tax free (here in Oregon) so they just rotated them back to how they were before. Pointless stop? After 2 hrs. I might be tempted to say yes, but at least I now know I need new tires, the shaking stopped, and they found a screw in my tire which they repaired. We were back on our way!

We passed a car with 2 bumper stickers: "Obama Sucks" and "Honk if you Love Arizona." Honk we did!! The dude waved enthusiastically at us as we passed him on the left. As for the first bumper sticker, I'll leave that one up to you...

Once we finally got to Portland after the forever long stretch of river driving along the Oregon/Washington border we hit some unexpected bumper to bumper traffic. We had to quickly find an alternate route using the GPS. After navigating though downtown for a while, we finally were on our way once more. Of course, it was Sunday the next day so we took a pit stop for some groceries.

After all was said and done, we got in about 1 am. The longest day of my life...... But adventure is waiting in store!

Warning: This may make you laugh uncontrollably

So if you've ever heard of the Daily Universe, you probably went to school at BYU. And you probably realized reading it was a waste of time. Do you remember this story? One to never be forgotten. The BEST part of the paper, however, is the Police Beat. Each week the newspaper publishes stories about why people call the campus police. Sometimes all you can say is, "Are you serious?!" Or other times all you can do is laugh hysterically. Here are some of my favorites (the best part is in bold):

March 4: Microwaves from Helaman Halls were moved into the hall lounge, where someone destroyed them by running food in them for a considerable amount of time. When officers responded they found the ruined microwaves along with charred remains of a burrito.

May 9 A suspicious male was reported in the JRCB 2nd floor men’s restroom. Upon investigation police observed a toilet seat covered in miniature marshmallows. The marshmallows were thrown away. There was no damage.

May 15 A resident at Wymount complained about a radio nearby being too loud around 10 p.m. When police arrived at the neighboring tenant’s apartment, they found the tenant talking to her mother on speakerphone. The call was terminated.

May 14 While at a bus stop a female reported a male saying that if the bus did not get there soon he would not make it to his storage unit in time to get the money he needed to buy beer. If the bus was late, he would have to steal the beer and if cops got in the way, he would do whatever needed to get it with his meat hook. Police calmed the man down upon arrival.

Jan. 20: Officers received reports of students climbing trees in front of the McKay Building. When officers responded, the students told police they had not been climbing the trees, but had just been looking up in them for a geocache. The geocache was located while police were present.

March 2: Officers received a report of a van with fogged windows and seats removed from the vehicle. The caller suspected lewd acts were being committed in the van. Upon arrival, the officers discovered 10 fully-clothed individuals watching a movie.

Just Married

April Fool's! So I'm walking by the math teacher in the hall towards the end of the day and he says, "Congratulations!" I'm thinking, "what the heck is he talking about?" "For what?" I say. "For getting married!" Oh, right. Of course. Guess I forgot to mention this small detail to you, my faithful blog readers. Next question for the math teacher, "Wait. How'd you know....?" Ha, just kidding. Apparently my car told him the big news. I went out to take a gander and this is what I found........

Apparently some of my students thought it would be a good April Fool's trick. Well, they were right. All I could do was laugh. To be honest, probably something I would have done when I was in high school. Most of the oreos attached to my car had been eaten by other students (are you serious?!) by the time I took the picture. My bike rack was also engulfed in toilet paper - took it off before I took the picture. They got me GOOD! Funny thing is early in one of my classes, we were giving presentations and for one of them a student said he needed my help. Well, he proceeded to get on one knee and propose to me as his April Fool's trick.

Shoot. I was trying to come up with a trick to play on my students for like a week, couldn't think of anything good so I gave up. And this is what I got.

Sweet Revenge: Notice the cans of root beer tied to my bumper. I plotted with my headmaster (aka principal) to get my students back. They were both Seniors. He readily agreed and asked, "How far can I push it?" I said, "as far as you can!" He seemed to like that response. He pulled them both into his office, set the cans of root beer on the table and said, "Can you explain this?" He threatened them with not being able to graduate and even went so far as to say I was going to press charges. Oh MAN!! I really wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that one. They were scared out of their minds. We laugh about it now. They had it coming!

If you were a bumper sticker, what would you say?

I LOVE these bumper stickers! Yes, I actually bought them with a purpose in mind, but NOT to put on my car. You shall see my ingenious use of them shortly.....

Check this out!

Haha, a couple of Sundays ago, some of us were hanging outside the apartments chilling on the hammock. I was actually grading my students' Spanish journals (you'll notice the stacks of notebooks on the ground...). So this dude, Clark, was sitting next to me and from another perspective, this is what it looked like. My head on someone else's body. Aaaaah! Bahahaha!

Mooooooonster Truuuuucks!!

Last weekend we went to a Monster Truck Rally to enjoy the crushing rush of cars getting smashed :) Except this was more of a timed competition instead of freestyle. Like I know....I've only been to one before :) They are a riot though. I was hoping for a white trash crowd like before, but was extremely disappointed. We only spotted about 3 mullets.... The crowd consisted mostly of screaming gleefull kids excited to see a school bus get crushed. It was education night. Thus.....Elise & I got to stand up and be recognized. Sweetness. No better way to spend the weekend.


Check out the guy with the mullet on the back left - yep, a true monster truck fan!

So last time we went to a monster truck jam, my roommates and I came up with monster truck names for ourselves. They couldn't be ones that already existed so you had to be creative. My monster truck name is PIT SMASHER!!! What would yours be??

Holiday Hooligans

Yes, I like alliteration. That's the best I could do..... If you have something better, you're the winner! :) It was a fun holiday down in AZ. Surprisingly it was a white Christmas. Yes, you heard me right..... A white Christmas in Arizona?! What the...? This picture tells the story. There were nothing but clouds the whole time except for a few days (like 2. argh) blissfully sunny days. I'll take what I can I guess.

The holiday hooligans consist of: myself (of course!), Elise & Erik, Sonya & Tyler, Mom & Dad. Ryan & Maranda spent it with her family this year. Side note: they prefer not to be called by their nicknames anymore :( But that's less confusing for you!

It was a week of bike riding, mesa hiking, basketball playing,

guitar learning, gun shooting,

goodie eating,

game playing,

mexican eating,

tumbleweed carrying (see story below),

present opening,

walk taking,

pin bowling,

friend seeing FUN!

Sorry some of those didn't make too much sense...haha!

Fortunately I got to strap my bike to the top of Erik's car and enjoy the white weather :) I also attempted to learn to play the guitar. I learned all the chords for Wild World by Cat Stevens but struggled putting them all together smoothly. If anyone knows this chord, you get a prize (I'll dedicate a whole blog post to you. haha)!! I forgot what it is......

I also went to a few Thatcher High games at the EAC Holiday Tournament and even got be an "assistant coach" by association for one of the games. Wanted to learn from the best - Coach Henson! Now I know how to better equip my own team for the winning! Season games start next week. Yikes.....Bring it on!

Tumbleweed Story - not a must read, but very enjoyable none the less :)
So one day I was down at my Dad's office at the college working on semester grades when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door. What the heck? Who in the world is that?! I open the door and I can't even see out cause there's this GIANT tumbleweed blocking the whole door frame. So I just closed it and went back to work. A few minutes later, there's another knock. Well I just ignore it. By this point though, I'm afraid to admit, I was actually starting to get scared, like for real. Haha! So I called my dad just to tell him what was going on and then there's another few knocks with door knob jiggling. Aaaaaaah! I finally opened it getting ready to yell at whoever it was. I open it and there is Elise & Erik laughing heartily.....of course. Oh man, they had me good. I know they are dying laughing reading this right now, as they should be. Good one guys! You're too funny!

Check this out!!

We had our Faculty Christmas Party this past Tuesday and we had our famous White Elephant gift exchange. And look what I ended up with?! Not without a good fight though!

It was the first gift I opened and I was super excited, as I'm sure you would have been :) So I tried hiding it the whole time. We are talking like 40 people here. Surprisingly nobody took it from me until the very end. I was super upset and everyone knew it! Haha! So this guy (who is a lawyer by trade) held up his gift to trade me and said, "I'll get it back." Everyone was egging me on saying, "Are you gonna trust a lawyer?!" So I took my chances (there were other rad gifts I would have easily took, a WWF wrestlemania VHS game for example), but I decided to go for it. So I traded him, but how the heck was I going to get it back?! He said he'd give it back after the game......and by gosh, he kept his word!!

But there's one problem.....they are a little tight through the torso....not very comfortable. They just may be worth some alteration though. Hey, they're glow in the dark!!

Is that all for you?

Come on! Are you serious?! Every time you go to the store, the clerk checking you out always asks, "Is that all for you?" My response, "Um, no actually. Wait right here while I go get one more thing." Haha, that would probably shock them. Well, they asked it right? If that's their lame attempt to strike up a conversation then they have a lot of work to do. I decided that Americans aren't genuine and real like people from other countries. Sometimes it's all superficial. Anyway, the next time you get asked, "Is that all for you?" I DARE YOU to say no and go run and get something else. I wonder what would happen.......???

Life on the Pharm

My part-time job this summer has been to work at Edgemont Pharmacy, one of the pharmacies I worked at to get me through BYU. I figure since I have the whole summer off, I should work a little to keep me on my toes and make some extra cash as well. I only work about 1 day a week so I still have time to enjoy the sumer as well.

It's been dull at times but then entertaining at times. Napoleon Dynamite's grandpa has come in as well as Lavell Edwards.....that's my claim to fame! So the other day this older guy comes in and tells the pharmacist, "un beso sin bigote es como sopa sin sal." A kiss without a mustache is like soup with salt. Hehe. You see, the pharmacist has a mustache so this older guy just couldn't resist telling him this.

Then the same day I answer the phone and this older guy is on the phone. Well, he asks if his friend, Bruce (the pharmacist), is working that day. I say yes and then he just comes out and says, "He's a DORK." I just had to let out a little chuckle! Then he asks if I knew that and I say no, but thanks for letting me know :) Then he says, "you just look into his eyes and you see D - O - R - K." Apparently he always called the pharmacist a dork and nerd or something like that. He's not off his rocker of anything, just a funny old guy.

Young at Heart

So when you're a kid and you happen upon one of these big boys, it's pure heaven. If you're passing it that is. Usually you're sitting in the front seat and you can't resist putting your arm at a 90 degree angle and moving it up and down. Because if you do, usually the truck driver will give you a big hearty honk. No doubt they get a kick out of it as well as you.

Well, you see, I'm still a kid at heart (my siblings can attest to this!). We were driving up to Cananda and it was dark. Well, I got this bright idea. I dared Dexter, who was sitting in the front seat, to do what I just described above, but while sticking his arm out the window. It was fail proof!! The headlights of the semi would of course see his arm. Well, being the chicken that he his :) he wouldn't do it. So I, sitting in the back seat, did it. And not just once my fellow readers, but many times. I got a few low honks, but I don't think the truck drivers in Montana have a sense of humour.

So today driving to the Spokane airport I was seated behind the driver. I saw a semi coming the opposite direction and decided to try it out this way. Boy did I get the biggest honk e-v-e-r!! So you see, it works pretty much wherever you are sitting in the car. So buckle up and get ready for the best road trip you've ever had!

Getting my Socks Knocked Off....or scared off.....

The day has finally come..........THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!! Wahooooo! Today was a chillax day - just yearbook signing and graduation. Well, my duties were to check off students after they cleaned out their lockers and in the process I got to sign everybody's yearbook. And guess what? This was news to me, but I even got one....for free!! So I had all the students sign my yearbook as well. Yep, I pretty much felt like I was back in high school all over again. Well, I mean, I am, but, well, you know what I mean..........

It was awesome! A fun day to be with the kids and joke around with them outside of the classroom setting. Oh my heck! Speaking of....... So a couple kids came and got me to check their locker. So I opened it....and my heart about stopped.....!!!! One of my students, Jentry, was inside!!! Oh man, I'm even laughing now still just thinking about it. He totally scared the crap out of me! And I have no idea how he even fit inside. Well, they got a few good chuckles out of that one. Jentry....he's quite the character. He's a bit difficult to understand sometimes, but he says the most random funny things! Like in my yearbook he wrote, "Miss Anderson, don't put twinkies on your pizza." Gotta love it!

Mariachi and Mexican Puppets

So this is what Lisi and I do at night when it's late.....bahahahahahaha!!

I got these puppets out to take to my Spanish class the following day, but I think we had more fun with them than my students ever will! What a riot!

"If you put a dent in my snowball....."

So I have a ton of hilarious stories from teaching high school. Even though my students can be punks sometimes, they always bring a smile to my lips and a hearty laugh. Such one occasion occurred the other day.....

I had parked my car in the student parking lot because it had snowed and was blocking off the back part of my school where I normally park. Well one student tells me, "We were throwing snowballs at your car Miss Anderson." Then he proceeded to say it was on accident, not on purpose of course. So I said, "you better not have dented it!" I told him he wasn't that strong anyway :) He said he could and if he did I owed him 20 bucks. Ha! Ya right! Then I said, and here's where it's funny, "If you put a dent in my snowball, you will have to pay for it!" Can you tell it's the end of the year? My brain is losing it's power! Last night I told the basketball players to be careful and not trip on the ice. The same student (who also plays basketball) said, "don't you mean slip Miss Anderson?" Haha. It's fun to laugh with them!

Anyway, so this student wrote this on the board.......
He just thought that was the funniest thing he's ever heard!

Say What?!

Lisi and I were driving home from church (this was a while ago) when we saw this sign at a gas station. I did a double take! Did it really say what I thought it said?! I mean, how could the place not know what it said? It had to have been on purpose...