Single Again...

So much to say... And yet I don't know know where to start...  I just spent a wonderful 11 months of my life with an amazing man and while it was looking like things might progress to an engagement, we determined now was not the time.  President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, "Marry the right person in the right place at the right time."  And I believe that is exactly right, all 3 things must be in place.  Without going into too much detail, it was basically decided that our priorities just don't align the way they ought to at this point in time, but who's to say that can't change?  It's been 4 months now and all I can say, really, is how grateful I am we are still good friends.  I'm not going to lie, it's been the hardest few months of my life and I miss him every day, but I will continue to be optimistic and have hope.  In the mean time, any advice for a broken heart (for either of us)?

Rotation #5 Graduate Project

Originally, the plan was to spend the whole 6 weeks back in Portland since I had just spent the last 3 months close to home in Arizona.  I had gotten my fill and was ready to get back to friends and a social life.  Well, after the first 2 weeks in Portland I went to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with family (see previous posts) and kind of just ended up staying for 3 extra weeks.  Why, you ask?  Well, I could work on my graduate project from any location, I could be close to my sister and her family (my adorable little niece!), hang out w/ UT friends, and enjoy a more moderate climate without rain.  Ok, ok, a boy may or may not have had anything to do with it… Let’s just say I met someone while I was there and decided I wanted to spend more time with him :)

While in Utah I got to eat at all my favorite places, do all my favorite things and see all my favorite people.  It’s always great catching up with friends over a delectable lunch.  Not to mention, I got to see my niece practically every day and see her actually grow and learn new things.  I also went to a couple of my girls’ basketball games at Maeser.  I miss coaching them, but it’s amazing to see their progress over the last 2 years since I’ve been gone.  And yes, I take full credit for their amazing talent now :)

As for the graduate project, it was a systematic review I wrote taking several different studies over the last few years to answer a clinical question I came up with: In patients with a patent foramen ovale (PFO) and migraine headache refractory to medical treatment, does percutaneous closure of the PFO reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of migraine headaches?  Basically… In patients with a heart defect causing blood to bypass the lungs and thus cause migraine headaches, does fixing the heart defect decrease migraine headaches?  It’s an interesting topic that I enjoyed researching, analyzing and writing about, but I am also extremely glad that I finished it and can now focus again on seeing and treating patients.  Five rotations down and only five more to go before I graduate!

Dating. Is the game over yet?

I am tired of dating.  Yes, especially when I don't have time, but I make time anyway, and then am reminded why I shouldn't date.  There are no quality men left out there.  Ok, there are, but not around these parts.  Ok, truly there are (literally just a handful), but they are just as busy as me and don't have time to date.  At least that's what I'd like to think.

I've been out with PLENTY of guys in my dating career.  And yes, it's a career.  A career w/out promotions or advancement so far.  I've been out with guys 9 inches taller than me, 4 inches shorter than me, 8 years older, 6 years younger, an NBA basketball player, a milk man, a lawyer; I've dated those who are outgoing & talkative, those I've struggled to carry a conversation with, those who have a serious demeanor, those who are funny & like to joke around, optimists, pessimists; I've been out w/ guys in my ward, guys not in the ward, good friends, new acquaintances and many blind dates.  I've been kissed on the first date and yet never been kissed by someone I dated for over 3 months; I've been to sporting events, concerts, hiking adventures, and just to dinner.  As you can see, the boys I've been out with represent a pretty broad range.  You'd think one of them would have worked out by now.  But to be honest, I'm glad it hasn't.  I've come to the conclusion that the guy I'm looking for can be described in simply one phrase.  This is all I want and all I'm looking for....it encompasses so many characteristics than just one.  And that phrase is "on the ball."  No, I do not want to be asked out via text message.  No, anything less than a bachelor's degree does not cut it (education is a big deal to me...how do you expect to provide for a family?).  No, do not ask me where you want to eat or what I want to do after you pick me up.  Choose something and go with it.  No, I do not want to make cookies and deliver them by knocking and running (that's what the girl scouts are for).  No, I do not want to watch tv when I'm with you.

I could add two other words to my "on the ball" sort of guy and be completely happy.....such as funny and active.  I need someone to joke around with and make me laugh.  And I hate sitting around waiting for things to happen - I like to stay busy.  I, of course, could add plenty of more characteristics like adventurous, optimistic, etc, but I'm pretty happy with my selection of = "on the ball" + active + funny.  "On the ball" encompasses so much in and of itself.  For example: career oriented, successful, responsible, smart (liking to read is also very important), reaches out to others, is a go-getter, is fit, is spiritual, and so many other words that are hard to find the right word for.  As I was re-reading this, I realized something else...I'm looking for a leader, a leader at work, at church, with friends...someone others look up to.  Yep, that's definitely it.  I also need someone who challenges me.  Yes, it should definitely go both ways, but I feel like I have been the sole challenger in the relationships I have been in recently.  Am I asking too much?  I really don't think so.

I had a few dates recently that must have provoked all of this.  Do I really have to start from square one all over again?  It's getting old.  Where is that "on the ball" guy? If you find him, somebody please let me know.....because I'm patiently waiting.