I am tired of dating. Yes, especially when I don't have time, but I make time anyway, and then am reminded why I shouldn't date. There are no quality men left out there. Ok, there are, but not around these parts. Ok, truly there are (literally just a handful), but they are just as busy as me and don't have time to date. At least that's what I'd like to think.
I've been out with PLENTY of guys in my dating career. And yes, it's a career. A career w/out promotions or advancement so far. I've been out with guys 9 inches taller than me, 4 inches shorter than me, 8 years older, 6 years younger, an NBA basketball player, a milk man, a lawyer; I've dated those who are outgoing & talkative, those I've struggled to carry a conversation with, those who have a serious demeanor, those who are funny & like to joke around, optimists, pessimists; I've been out w/ guys in my ward, guys not in the ward, good friends, new acquaintances and many blind dates. I've been kissed on the first date and yet never been kissed by someone I dated for over 3 months; I've been to sporting events, concerts, hiking adventures, and just to dinner. As you can see, the boys I've been out with represent a pretty broad range. You'd think one of them would have worked out by now. But to be honest, I'm glad it hasn't. I've come to the conclusion that the guy I'm looking for can be described in simply one phrase. This is all I want and all I'm looking for....it encompasses so many characteristics than just one. And that phrase is "on the ball." No, I do not want to be asked out via text message. No, anything less than a bachelor's degree does not cut it (education is a big deal to me...how do you expect to provide for a family?). No, do not ask me where you want to eat or what I want to do after you pick me up. Choose something and go with it. No, I do not want to make cookies and deliver them by knocking and running (that's what the girl scouts are for). No, I do not want to watch tv when I'm with you.
I could add two other words to my "on the ball" sort of guy and be completely happy.....such as funny and active. I need someone to joke around with and make me laugh. And I hate sitting around waiting for things to happen - I like to stay busy. I, of course, could add plenty of more characteristics like adventurous, optimistic, etc, but I'm pretty happy with my selection of = "on the ball" + active + funny. "On the ball" encompasses so much in and of itself. For example: career oriented, successful, responsible, smart (liking to read is also very important), reaches out to others, is a go-getter, is fit, is spiritual, and so many other words that are hard to find the right word for. As I was re-reading this, I realized something else...I'm looking for a leader, a leader at work, at church, with friends...someone others look up to. Yep, that's definitely it. I also need someone who challenges me. Yes, it should definitely go both ways, but I feel like I have been the sole challenger in the relationships I have been in recently. Am I asking too much? I really don't think so.
I had a few dates recently that must have provoked all of this. Do I really have to start from square one all over again? It's getting old. Where is that "on the ball" guy? If you find him, somebody please let me know.....because I'm patiently waiting.
6 comments:
Ok, I know that people have probably told you this a million times and will probably continue to tell you this, but that guy is still out there! My advice is to keep your expectations high, but to also be open-minded (which it sounds like you have been). Lincoln had some qualities that I didn't even realize I was looking for & now I don't know what I would do without! There are also a few things that I'd pictured differently (we have a completely different sense of humor, for example) but it works out! And honestly, when you look back on this time of your life, you will probably realize why things have happened the way they have, and why they have taken longer than you've probably wanted them to. Anyway, good luck! Dating definitely has its low moments, that's for sure. Oh, & Linc and I met on a blind date...so yes, those DO work out sometimes. :)
Amen Kristina! We are 100% on the same page. I am patiently waiting too...but I wish he would hurry up a little :)
You women are too picky :-P Just curious though who was the NBA player?
I remember at one point where I was just dying for the game to be over with. Then I got married and then divorced. Then I had to start the game over again. Just don't rush things and you'll find the right one. Utah may tell you you're too old to be single but you don't live in Utah any more. Live your life, marriage will come when ready.
HAHA- great post! No, you are not asking too much...I completely concur!
Awesome. Enough said.
This is a seriously great post.
I also agree with the sentiments expressed here as well. Clearly, you know better than to settle. My favorite dating mantra was "Let go, let flow." You never know when love will find you--and how it may be someone unexpected. :) You'll find him, though, of that I have no doubt.
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